Sunday, April 23, 2017

Good and Bad

Last Saturday we woke up to a little surprise and by little I mean the best of my life. Our families had set up an Easter egg hunt in our back yard. They said to open one egg. In that egg was a few hundred dollar bills. We just stood there crying.

We collected all the eggs then opened them inside. They were full of money, notes, gift cards, treats, and toys. I was so emotional through the whole thing. To be on the receiving end of such a wonderful surprise was so humbling. There were donations from our closest family and friends, to old neighbors and acquaintances, and people we barely or didn't even know.

After that day I hate to say it but this week has been a little tougher. On Monday night we stayed at my sister, Angie's house in Orem to be closer to the doctors appointments. We woke up on Tuesday, went to get in the car and realized the car had been towed. Great. We didn't realize you couldn't park on the street over night. That wasn't the worst thing ever but I was already feeling a bit down and that just added to it. Also my guilt was hitting really hard. Angie was watching the kids ALL day, though she says they were good and she wanted to help it is still so hard to watch others care for your children when that is all you want to do. I should be taking care of them, not sitting in some doctors office.  Also my wonderful sister-in-law set up a go fund me to help us cover some medical costs, the guilt I felt as I watched people donate money was a bit overwhelming. I can't even begin to express how grateful we are that so many people are so generous but again, that should be something we should take care of on our own.
I was texting a friend about my pity party and she responded "..the last thing in the world you need is to feel guilty about anything. I think that is a tool of the adversary..." Boy did that speak to me. All of these people are trying to ease our burden and make life a little easier for us. I should be nothing but grateful. Satan is tricky and knows just how to bring you down.

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; 
but of power, and of love, and of sound mind"
2 Timothy 1:7

I know all good comes from God and I can see Him helping me through this trial. I am still functioning because of Him and the people that are praying for us. It is not a coincidence that the weekend I was told I have cancer was Conference weekend and the next Sunday was Easter. The power and love I have felt over these last two weeks has been incredible.

We also moved the surgery date up to May 3rd just to keep this thing up to date.